Demand your Right to be a Victim... new service offered!

From the “If ya can’t beat ‘em... join ‘em” department: I hereby offer a new business idea... Immavictim.com. For a small fee we will research your ethnic past and come up with some “discrimination”, “oppression” and/or “disrespect” that you and/or your ancestors musta endured somewhere, somehow! So you too can claim victim status. Victim status is all the rage these days… great for excusing personal failures and (what used to be called) “responsibility”. No one wants that anymore. Free two-day shipping!

I recently researched myself… I was born left-handed, as a result I was not even allowed to try out for third-baseman on my little league team (back in the insensitive days)! In college there were no left-handed desks in my classes, so I had to write all crossed over and stuff... I am scarred for life! No accommodations were made for my left-handedness! So traumatized was I that it took TWO semesters added together to get my GPA to 4.0! I demand reparations for my suffering!!!

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